Becoming a Novelist

It seems I’m doing a lot of “becoming” lately, although in many ways these changes have been a long time coming. As I’ve mentioned before, I started writing fan fiction in 2015, which was also the same year I wrote my first novel during NaNoWriMo, Artifact of the Dawn. It’s over two years later and …

Becoming Who I Want to Be

I’ve spent most of my life trying to conform to other’s expectations. I told myself that I wasn’t conforming at all, but even adopting labels like geek or tomboy, were still ways of me conforming to others’ expectations. As a young child, I insisted I was a boy. Everything about boys resonated with me, while …

Stuck in Limbo

Lately I’ve very much felt as if I’m stuck in limbo. I have a need to move forward with my life, but I’m stuck treading water and it’s getting to a point where it’s really frustrating. I no longer have the same love and passion for my consulting work that I once had. A big …

Being Bi-Gender

I am still doing a lot of self-discovery and introspection these days. As I recently posted, I have come to realize that I am on the asexual spectrum, being both demisexual and sapiosexual. Another thing I have come to realize is that I am not strictly cisgender either (cisgender is identifying with the sex you …

Coming Out as Demisexual

One thing that I have noticed over the past year since losing my husband, is the fact that a lot of people seem to take great interest in my sex life (or lack thereof). If I say “it’s too soon” they will often back off but if I say that I have no interest in …

Good Reflections on a Bad Year

It’s been a long time since I’ve had the motivation to write a blog post, but this time of year always leads me to reflecting on the past, and this year is no exception. My 2016 started off pretty bad, fighting to keep my husband from drowning in despair, and then losing him anyway. Not …

Help the Orlando Shooting Victims

I was heartbroken to hear the news coming out of Orlando today, and my heart goes out to the victims and their families. I hate that it takes tragedies like this to remind us that we need to love and cherish those closest to us, because we never know if they will still be here tomorrow. …

Moving On

It’s now been four months since I lost my husband to depression. Losing a loved one is never easy, but I think even more so when it’s a beloved spouse. At times it can be soul-crushing. There are days my heart aches and I struggle to breath. Yet, despite that, there are also days I …

How I Grieve

Everyone has opinions on just about everything, including how a person should grieve. Apparently, according to some people, I’m not grieving right. Clearly I must not have loved my husband because I’m not completely broken and despondant. I’m not running out and joining grief counseling groups or private counseling sessions. I tell these people that …

Surrealism

On January 31, 2016 my husband lost his long battle with depression. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to many people about what happened. One thing that strikes me in all this is how completely surreal it all feels. The fact that I went from being happily married to a widow in far less …