Emotional Roller-Coaster

Those of you who watch my vlogs on YouTube may have seen my recent video on menopause. Today I want to focus in on what’s probably the most annoying part of menopause for me – mood swings. If you think a woman’s mood swings during her monthly cycle are bad, just wait until she hits menopause. It just gets much worse and any little thing can set her off. Literally, the drop of a hat type of anything (I recently found myself sobbing because I lost my grip and dropped a hat I was trying to put on).

When I burst into tears for no good reason, it makes me feel ridiculously silly in retrospect. In the moment, whatever triggered it is the saddest thing I have ever encountered – in that moment. Once the moment passes, I’m just left feeling silly and frustrated. Frustrated at my lack of control. Naturally I don’t just get fits of crying. I also get fits of anger as well. Any little thing can set me off – the wrong word, tone or even look and I boil with anger. Again, once the moment passes, I feel silly, and ashamed, for my reaction. Occasionally, my anger reactions trigger such a sense of regret, it leads me to tears as well.

Naturally, all this is leaving my poor husband feeling confused, defensive and not quite sure what he’s doing wrong (he’s not really doing anything wrong – it’s all me and my hormones).

I know he wants to help. He wants to “fix” what’s wrong. Unfortunately there isn’t much that can be fixed. Sure I could take Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), and mood altering drugs. However these come with side-effects that I really don’t want to deal with. HRT comes with an increased risk of cancer, which I am at higher risk of because of my family history. Mood altering drugs could possibly leave me in a sleepy stupor (most drugs do) and that would be bad for business.

At the end of the day, I just have to try and ride this roller coaster to it’s inevitable conclusion. I know calmer waters are ahead – I just wish my body would hurry up and get me there already.